Day 12 - Doing The Math

I haven't blogged in a few days. To catch up in two sentences...Days 8, 9 and 10 were H.A.R.D. I was H.U.N.G.R.Y.

I'm not quiet sure whether it was true, physical hunger or still that desire to just have something to chew in my mouth. Either way, days 11 and 12 have been much easier.

After a discussion with my "partner in crime" in this endeavor, I realize MORE THAN EVER that for me, this is such a spiritual journey. I have spent so many years trying to figure this food thing out, trying to manage it, control it, manipulate it; actually, thinking that God would do his part but I had to do mine (which meant that I had to do it).

This is the FIRST time EVER that I understand the word

P O W E R LE S S N E S S

the way that, I truly believe, it was intended to be used as a follower of Christ.

While I teach this concept daily and believe it when I'm teaching it, when it came to me personally, it was a different ballgame. I now see that I felt weak or somehow irresponsible if I was "not able to handle it", make it happen, etc.

God has shown me, through this process, what it truly means to

S U R R E N D E R

and the mathematical equation isn't that tough.

God is 100% in control. I am 0% in control.

I don't have to have a plan. I don't need a plan. I don't have to figure it out. I don't have to do ANY THING!

This scripture has never resonated with me the way it has in this process:

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

I don't know why God has chosen this time, this season, to show me that kind of mercy, but He has and I'm grateful.